When You're Feeling Small
You gotta just start
Last week I wrote an essay on being playful. I included some tips on what I do to get into a fun mentality.
Let’s talk a little more about some practical tips of managing your own emotions.
How To Handle Low Moods
What do you do when you’re in a show and you just don’t think you’re gonna be good?
Like you are convinced, at least for the moment, that you are dogshit.
You’re on the backline. A scene is happening. Maybe a few scenes have already happened. You haven’t been in one yet. You don’t have a single idea.
You suddenly believe the show might be better if you just don’t do anything.
Everyone experiences this. Recently, on the stage of the improv theater I co-own, with friends who I KNOW like me, in front of an audience who I KNOW like me — I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that the show would be better if I just stayed out of it. A four person set. I went out last. I had no ideas.
I suddenly realized: I was scared.
It’s not about facts. It’s about feelings. Insecurities and fear and intimidation. Who knows where it comes from? Maybe you got an email that made you mad, and you’ve been stewing on it all day, and now on stage all you feel is bile. Maybe you saw an Instagram post that made you jealous.
Maybe it’s as simple as needing sleep!
But whatever it is, whatever it comes from…
How do you handle this?
Okay, here’s what I do.
Learn A New Side Of Yourself
First, when you’re in a bad place, try to get scientific about it. A bad mood will bring out a new side of you. You will make different choices and think of different things.
That can be interesting!
Get ready to learn about a new part of your brain, which may have some things to offer that you usually don’t think of.
Also, today is a day you will get some practice in doing a show when you don’t feel like it. This won’t be the last time. And by doing today, you will be better prepared for the next time.
Today is practice.
Gift Yourself Something
A common problem when you’re feeling low is you are very passive. While you don’t need to DRIVE a whole scene, make sure to give yourself SOMETHING.
A point of view you’re good at, or a character voice you like, or an agenda. Right when you enter, declare a philosophy, or establish an emotional tone.
Here are thing you can establish in one line the first time you speak in a scene.
Cynical: Following rules is for the weak
Happy and present: You know what? Let’s enjoy the little things
Naive: Capitalism is actually really good
Helpful: Let’s do it, I’m on board
Distracted: Hey, do you know the story of the song “Louie, Louie?”
I also really enjoy being completely cynical people who shrug everything off, but that can kill an improv scene so I only do that kind of person if I’m gifted that way. Like if someone says “Phil, you’re divorced, how do you handle it?” I might say “I gave up years ago.”
Be On Board
There’s something to be said for letting your real feelings out on stage. But if you are feeling extra unconfident, or extra down, that’s less helpful - at least as a starting place. Instead, be someone who — generally speaking — is on board with anything anyone brings up.
Just say “yes” — literally the word yes — to things other people say.
Nod While Other People Talk
Get your body moving, even in small ways. When other people are talking, you nod.
Just that little movement can wake you up.
Repeat What Other People Say
Audiences have a HIGH tolerance for characters repeating each other’s lines. It buys you time, it makes sure you are listening. Repeat.
It weirdly makes every improv scene seem like a Mamet play.
This works even if the other person is kind of hostile towards your moves.
Other person: I need to talk to you.
You: You need to talk to me?
Other person: That’s what I said, isn’t it?
You: You did. You said that. You want to talk to me. Let’s do it.
Other person: What are your goals for this relationship?
You: My goals? For this relationship? Hmmm.
Other person: Yes, for this relationship! Did you think I meant another relationship?
You: Of course not. You meant this one. My goals.
Other person: Yes!
You: My goals for this relationship are…. to be happy?
Other person: Anything more specific?
You: Uh, travel?
My point here is that you don’t need to do a lot to be a good improv partner. If you’re repeating a lot, the scene is fun and you only need to make a choice here or there. A coach might note you that you’re not carrying your weight in the scene, but the truth is this works and is a good strategy when you’re not really feeling it.
How Are YOU Doing?
If you’re brain is foggy, you will get easily lost. You won’t know what’s going on. You won’t know what “should” happen.
A great move in this case is to look at the other person and say “How are you doing, anyway?”
It’s often funny. It’s also generally interesting to hear what the answer is.
Be Characters Who Are Grateful
Similarly, be a character who wants to take a moment and appreciate something. This is also often funny.
Visualizations
We’re moving more abstract methods. But I like to use visualizations when I’m feeling low. Things I like to picture:
that my spine is made of molten metal, like the Terminator in T2
that the audience (or coach or teacher) is just a soothing blue mist
That there is a window of light in front of my face and it’s open
That I am performing on the stage of the UCB Chelsea theater (RIP), where I’ve done the most shows
Or Skip It
You can also just skip the show. That’s truly not the worst thing to do sometimes.
But MOST of the time — it’s better to do the show. It’s good practice. You will discover a new side of yourself.
Plugs
The World’s Greatest Improv School: The improv school I run with Jim Woods and Sarah Claspell. We’ve got classes online, in LA and even a few in NYC!
How to Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - My improv book, available at Amazon. Kindle or print (also on my web site for more if you don’t want to buy from Amazon). It’s a hodge-podge of advice I wrote in 2016 about doing improv. If you’re broke and want a free PDF version just email me and I’ll send it over.
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This is so great-a mountain of useful tips.
Very timely, thank you. Literally gonna use this today in front a soothing blue mist