Can I Be Honest With You?
yes, you can change your mind
In recent classes, I’ve asked students to do scenes where at least one person has to at some point say “can I be honest with you?”
(This is a very common directive, similar to “i’ve got a confession to make” or “what’s this really about”).
Speaking Directly
As you might imagine, it helps a lot. A moment of honesty is personal, important and surprising.
The most common use is students directly state something they’ve only been implying.
Like someone is telling their husband they want to honeymoon in a war zone. The husband diplomatically agrees. And then the husband says “Can I be honest with you? I don’t want to vacation in a war zone.”
Of course, the lesson is you don’t need to say “can I be honest with you?” Nor do you need permission from an exercise. Improv scenes are always the day you state your mind, even if it’s not what you normally would do.
This is the intended effect: say out loud what you’re thinking.
Changing Your Mind
But students use it in a way I did not expect: they use it to change their minds.
They feel stuck yes-anding something they are not enjoying, and saying “can I be honest with you?” lets them out of it.
I think this is good!
Like two people are trying to be peas-in-a-pod about something: maybe they are talking about how much they love going to Renaissance Faires. And then one character gets REALLY into this, and starts dropping lots of specifics, and the other person starts to feel left out because they (the actor) don’t know as much about Renaissance Faires and then after a bit they say…
“Can I be honest with you? I might not be as into this as you? I’m just kinda doing it to please you.”
Now I know what you’re thinking! This is bad! It’s bailing! They’re going from a position of caring to a position of not caring! They’re invalidating their first choice, which was to be peas-in-a-pod with the other player!
Yes, but they are gaining something: agency. The player is being honest. They are bringing their real selves into the character — which is so powerful that it will fix any other problems that might be caused by changing their minds.
You absolutely need to say yes and adapt when you’re doing improv. It’s the primary feat you perform as an improviser: rewriting your character as you go.
But you also need to stay committed to the situation. And if you need to change your mind to stay committed and present and honest, I say do it.
Even at a high level, players feel quite easy about changing their minds. This is where confidence comes from: the knowledge that you will be able to change your character to something you feel honest playing.
Rejecting Endowments
Another version of this is that players will use this to reject endowments. And even though that’s generally bad news, I don’t mind it if it results in a scene with two committed actors.
I see a lot of scenes where one actor tries to endow the other person as unusual, and they do it by saying something like “What? We agreed to this!”
Like in my example above, in which a wife tells a husband she wants to vacation in a war zone. If the husband acts surprised (because the actor is surprised), the wife might say “Honey, come on, you agreed to this!”
I kind of hate “we agreed to this” because you’re sort of denying your partner’s natural reaction to your move. But it’s so common that I don’t think it’s worth fighting.
Instead, I champion the other character’s right to say they’ve changed their mind. “Can I be honest with you? I agreed to it just to be a loving partner, but I really don’t want to do this.”
You Own Your Character
Pushing back on endowments, changing your mind in a scenes — this can feel like hitting the brakes in a scene.
But think about what it feels like to learn to ride a bike. You hit those brakes a LOT while you’re learning to balance. You NEED those brakes to feel confident. Yes, eventually as you ride more and more, you will use those brakes less and less. But you’ll always use them sometimes.
And it’s good to learn that they are there.
Anyway, I like the phrase “Can I be honest with you?” and think it’s very helpful.
I’ve been writing this essay listening to Phillip Glass music and I feel completely insane.
Plugs, Ongoing
Screw It, We’re Just Gonna Talk About Comics - Comic book podcast, hosted by my brother Kevin and I. We are going over some John Byrne-created issues of Fantastic Four from the 1980s.
Clubhouse Fridays - WGIS’ weekly improv show. Fridays 7pm at The Clubhouse. Free!
The World’s Greatest Improv School: The improv school I run with Jim Woods and Sarah Claspell. We’ve got classes online, in LA and even a few in NYC!
How to Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - My improv book, available at Amazon. Kindle or print. It’s a hodge-podge of advice I wrote in 2016 about doing improv. If you’re broke and want a free PDF version just email me and I’ll send it over.