Better Acting For Robots

"as if" like a human

Photo by Maximalfocus on Unsplash

This is “better acting for robots.” It’s “for robots” because it tries to give you little formulas and analogies for a thing (acting) that is actually very subjective and foggy. But let’s pretend for a moment that acting is a thing you can FORCE yourself to be good at. Okay? Here we go.

Pass the Fork

Pop quiz: You’re in an improv scene and someone turns to you and asks you to pass her a fork. What do you do?

Answer: You pass a fork. 

You don’t try to be funny or cute or make things complicated. This is a normal easy thing, and it’s real, and you should just do it without even thinking about it. Right? Easy. You pass the fork.

Pass The Glorp

Second quiz: You’re doing a scene where you are a Martian, and you have just slayed a big Martian beast, and you’re ripping up the guts with another Martian, and you’re both eating the guts, and the other Martian asks you to pass a glorp. What do you do?

Answer: You pass a glorp.

Easy, right? The glorp is a fork. I mean, emotionally speaking, it’s just a fork. So you treat it like a fork, which is to say that when your dinner partner asks you to pass it, you pass it. Because that’s normal. Even though you’re a Martian, which isn’t really a thing, and you’re eating a beast -- and maybe you didn’t even know that the two of you had access to utensils! But once your scene partner asks you to pass the glorp -- you recognize that moment. This is just like passing a fork, you think. You don’t even think -- you just FEEL it. This is a normal thing, you think, and I’m gonna do it.

Passing the glorp is not a real thing, but it’s a thing that you can play truthfully because it’s kind of like a thing you know.

“As If” Moments

Here’s the lesson: everything you do in an improv scene is passing a glorp. Whatever you’re doing, you’ve probably never done it. But you have to play it truthfully, and you can do it because you can relate to it. You’ve done SOMETHING LIKE what is happening. Or you’re read about it, or seen it in a movie.

What we’re talking about are “as if” moments. Everything in an improv scene — funny or mundane — is an “as if.” Job interviews, police interrogations, confrontations with parents, epiphanies about death, two friends on a bench, a Martian at a commercial audition, two robots on the subway, a balloon talking to an eagle — you find a way to see real life in it.

Is the Scene Clear Enough?

“As If” tells you when you the scene is clear enough. Once you can relate to the scene, then you know enough.

If the scene does not feel familiar, then make choices until it does.

Let’s say your scene partner starts a scene with this: “You sure came home late last night.”

You: “I did.” (you’re not sure what to feel, who is this talking to you?)

Your scene partner: “Honey, I thought we’d talked about this.” (Is this your parent, or your partner? Time to choose — let’s say it feels like a parent)

You: “Mom, I think I’m ready to start partying on my own terms.” (decision made, scene clear, now you can relate)

Pass The Pliers

Another quiz: let’s say you’re in an improv scene and you’re one of two car mechanics working on an engine. You’re both learning over the engine poking around. The other mechanic says, “hey, pass me the needle nose pliers.” What do you do?

Answer: You pass some needle nose pliers.

But do you know what needle-nose pliers are? Maybe not. But you can sort of guess, right? They’re a tool, and it seems like you can use them for working on a car. It’s like passing a fork to a dinner companion, kind of. The point is: even though you don’t know EXACTLY what would happen, you do get the gist of it. You can relate to it.

How Do You Tell Someone You Ruined Their Car?

What about if you’re doing a scene where someone is telling you that you are a car mechanic, and you’ve worked on their car, and you’ve ruined their car?

What is the “pass the fork” experience you have that lets you know what it’s like to tell someone you did this?

Not looking for anything funny or weird, here. Just good acting.

Well, if you’ve ever had a job, you’ve probably had co-workers ask you for things. Or a family member come into your room and ask for a pen. These are all things that inform the experience.

I’m not saying you stop and mentally tally all the experiences which are similar to being a car mechanic. Don’t think too much. Just --- recognize that even though you’re not a car mechanic, you can totally relate to the experience of being in your shop and someone comes up and wants their car. 

You need to be in touch with that. That will let you play the scene truthfully. That will make you speak honestly and directly. 

A Hot Air Balloon Date

Finally, “as if” helps protect you from putting too much emphasis on the wrong thing. It’s not a big deal to pass the fork, so it’s not a big deal to pass the glorp, even though that’s a fantastical thing.

Another quiz, and this one is a fussy one.

Your group gets the suggestion “balloon.” You step out, and your scene partner starts like this:

“Hot air balloon ride. Great anniversary gift, honey.”

You give a yes back: “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Three great years.”

A little improv-y, but clear and good and now you’re in a scene.

Here’s the quiz: what do you talk about now?

Yes, this question is a trap!

Hint: Not about being in a balloon.

Even though it was the suggestion, even though it is an unusual setting. It is not necessarily the focus of the scene.

This is ALSO a pass-the-glorp moment. You may never have been on a hot air balloon ride, but you’ve been on a date. Or something LIKE a date. Use that experience to determine what you’re talking about. If you go to dinner, you don’t spend the whole time talking about how you are currently at dinner.

You’re talking about people you both know, or your job, or a television show you both like. Maybe you’re talking about your relationship, maybe.

If we follow the thought of “make every scene important to the people in it,” maybe one of them has a confession to make, some news to drop. Then make the confession, drop the news.

• “I want to break up.”

• “I’m having an affair with the man driving this balloon.”

• “I got us a dog in secret.”

But you’re not just saying over and over again: look at this balloon!

“As if” will tell you: the balloon is not the important thing, at least not yet.

Everything Is An “As If”

“As If” is one of the big keys to being able to handle anything that comes your way. Improv is a mixture of acting and writing, but it’s ultimately more about acting. Your ability to instantly relate to everything — mundane or strange, familiar or not — and your instincts of how you feel about them — is crucial to playing with ease.

This is a revised version of an essay I wrote over on medium.

That’s it! On to the plugs.

Plugs, Ongoing

• High Functioning - Ian Roberts and I do an hour of improv EVERY SATURDAY 7pm at the UCB Annex. See this video for Ian and I showing you where the UCB Annex is.

• Clubhouse Fridays - WGIS’ weekly improv show. Fridays 7pm at The Clubhouse. Free!

• The World’s Greatest Improv School: The improv school I run with Jim Woods and Sarah Claspell. We’ve got classes online, in LA and even a few in NYC!

• How to Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - My improv book, available at Amazon. Kindle or print. It’s a hodge-podge of advice I wrote in 2016 about doing improv. If you’re broke and want a free PDF version just email me and I’ll send it over.

• Screw It, We’re Just Gonna Talk About Comics - Comic book podcast, hosted by my brother Kevin and I. We are about to start coverage of the late 1990s iteration of Human Target by Peter Milligan. Subscribe for bonus episodes!

• Screw It, We’re Just Gonna Talk About The Beatles - monthly deep dive on a little known indie band from Liverpool called The Beatles. We’re doing Mind Games re-release. Subscribe for access to back episodes!