Asking People To Play Differently

tread lightly, but you can do it

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

One of the most common questions I get about improv are some version of “How do I tell my teammate / classmate they are doing improv in a way I do not like?”

(The MOST common question I get is “please tell me I am not bad at this, I’m in my head” which I sympathize with and we can talk about another time. Quick answer: no you’re not bad, 98% of good people feel this, learning how you cope with it is a Necessary Quest - etc. etc.)

But back to dealing with teammates / classmates. While I certainly do not have a silver bullet one-size-fits-all solution, I have a few pieces of advice.

I’m talking about dealing with people who are doing improv in a way that is hard to deal with. Generally this means they are doing too much (steamrolling) OR they are immediately heightening everything to absurdity. They are not really breaking any improv “rules” per se; this is more a question of taste.

And they’re often not bad PEOPLE per se. Dealing with bad actors off stage is a whole other topic (one I get into a little bit in my chapter “Difficult People” in my improv book, oh my gosh look, it’s a plug). I’m talking about when you just want the improv to be different.

Okay so what do you do? Again, I’m not a complete expert on this. But here are some things to consider.

Pick Your Battles

You have every right to say what you’re feeling to your team. But know that these discussions can easily hurt feelings and get distorted, so you want to pick your battles. Just the stuff you absolutely need. Remember that improv already gives you a lot of power in the show.

What is the minimal change that will make things better? Common solutions are restrictions that everyone must obey: no tag-outs in the first 3 scenes, making sure the first scene is a realistic grounded scenes, letting walk-ons announce themselves rather than presuming who you think they are. These can all increase good will without putting any one person on trial.

If you’re inspired by a class you’re taking or a show you’ve seen, you can bring that up. “I wish we could do things a bit more like the X show.” If your teammates have seen this, they may have been thinking this too. At the very least they’ll get an idea of what you’re looking for.

Be Open To Changing Yourself

Be open to not getting everything you want, and that you might have to change a little too. If you’re willing to adjust, then others should be (and generally will) also. If you ask for no tag-outs at the top, your hyper teammates might say “Can we agree that in the last few scenes we’re allowed to do a lot of support?” That’s not a bad compromise, and actually sounds like a good strategy to me.

Talk About The Show, Not The People

Put your feelings in terms of the show or the team, not people. Rather than saying “I wish Bob would stop being in every scene” it’s easier to hear “I think we need to give each other time to make choices before walking on.” Or “I like when we do grounded scenes rather than very heightened scenes.”

If the person you’re thinking of gets defensive. “Oh, you’re talking about me?” You can and should cop to it, but shift it to the team. “Yeah, that scene made me think this, but I really think we should all do this.”

Express it in terms of your own improv journey. “I’m really trying to work on being grounded — I want to practice that in these shows.” This way you’re asking for help, not lecturing others.

It is also really good to say what you like about things. “I love how we have a lot of ideas. I like that we’re bold and brave with support moves.” You can also appreciate being part of a show or team. “I love that we’re doing this, and I really appreciate being part of it.” If someone is getting defensive, giving them an honest compliment goes a long way “You’re so funny, and I admire how much you are willing to get in there.” Don’t make stuff up, but there’s got to be something you like, right?

Offer changes yourself. “I’m willing to do some things different too if that helps the show, or if there’s something I’m not doing I can do.”

When To Bring It Up?

If you rehearse with a coach, that’s a good place. “Can we talk about our shows?” Or “I have some thoughts about our shows —- could we talk about that?”

If you don’t rehearse, you might have to do it after a show. If you do that, try to use the show you just had as an example. “Can I just say that scenes like the job interview scene — there’s something there I wish we did less of.” If someone says “I don’t want to talk about this now” respect that — after show time is sensitive. But you can counter with “Well we don’t rehearse so I want to talk about it sometime.” Set up a time to discuss things.

If this is really just a one time thing that’s bothering you, meaning a particular move or a particular comment. That might be better for you to address right to the person one on one. Be gentle, and phrase it like you’re asking for help. “I feel uncomfortable when I get labelled right when I walk in to a scene.” A compliment can help here too: “I know you’re just trying to get us to a funny scene.” “I like that you’re confident, and I know your intention is to help the scene.”

Realistic Expectations

People can adjust their play but in the end, we are who we are. A loud confident enthusiastic person is not going to because a nuanced slow player. Similarly, a deadpan small performer will never be a “let’s hype the crowd up” showboat. So accept that some people will never do the kind of improv you like.

Meaning: the real answer might be that you need to find new people to play with. Start a new group, find new people. You don’t have to quit your current group while you do that, but you might end up doing that.

However, I want to acknowledge if you’re new to a scene, you might not know that many people. If you’re in a small improv community, there might not be a lot of choices. The hard truth is that might have to take a break from performing until you find a better opportunity.

If this happens to you, please know that lots of people have to step away for a bit and are able to find their way back into their scenes with folks who are a better fit.

Take The Long View

Speaking as someone who has been in improv for a long time: teams generally don’t last a long time. Most of them have a shelf life of 3 years or so. After that, there’s either a major reshuffling or the team basically retires. Anyone who’s done improv for more than five years will have outlasted most of the teams they are on.

Take the long view, and know that doing improv means being on many teams and playing with lots of people. It can be scary when you’re not getting along with folks, improv-wise.

But if you really want to be doing improv, and you’re willing to make some adjustments, you will be able to keep doing improv.

Take a breath, ask for some adjustments to the show, and you will be fine.

This is one of those topics where it’s impossible to address every single situation. So more than usual, I welcome suggestions and comments — public or private — so that I can speak better about it in the future.

Plugs, Ongoing

• High Functioning - Ian Roberts and I do an hour of improv EVERY SATURDAY 7pm at the UCB Annex. See this video for Ian and I showing you where the UCB Annex is.

• Clubhouse Fridays - WGIS’ weekly improv show. Fridays 7pm at The Clubhouse. Free!

• The World’s Greatest Improv School: The improv school I run with Jim Woods and Sarah Claspell. We’ve got classes online, in LA and even a few in NYC!

• How to Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - My improv book, available at Amazon. Kindle or print. It’s a hodge-podge of advice I wrote in 2016 about doing improv. If you’re broke and want a free PDF version just email me and I’ll send it over.

• Screw It, We’re Just Gonna Talk About Comics - Comic book podcast, hosted by my brother Kevin and I. We are about to start coverage of the late 1990s iteration of Human Target by Peter Milligan. Subscribe for bonus episodes!

• Screw It, We’re Just Gonna Talk About The Beatles - monthly deep dive on a little known indie band from Liverpool called The Beatles. We’re doing Mind Games re-release. Subscribe for access to back episodes!