Active Listening

let yourself be changed

Photo by Larry George II on Unsplash

Today we answer a question from Brendan M. about the art of “offering nothing.”

A lot of improv instruction is centered on go! But a theme I have noticed when I have talked to more experienced improvisers is that much of the quality and magic seems to come from pause/rest/stop.

Sebastian Conelli (and probably others) talks about not playing every idea you have. Alex Berg’s hand thing includes resting the game. You mention the power of pausing as the secret to being the world’s greatest improviser. It’s attributed to Thelonus Monk that he said something like “Don’t play everything (or every time); let some things go by… What you don’t play can be more important than what you do.” A visual artist knows the value of negative space.

To phrase this as a question: I am offering something to every scene of every show I am in, even if that’s nothing. How do I hone the skill of offering nothing?

I love this question. It’s put very well. Thank you Brendan.

The phrase you’re looking for is active listening. You remain quiet so others can talk, and then you let the things they say change you.

Active listening is a S-tier level improv skill. Every single time anyone says or does anything in a scene, it should change you. Who you think you are, what has happened before, what you’re worried about. You should be adjusting your character, your history, your feelings anytime anything happens.

It’s weirdly fun to talk about. I get the feeling that people are not so excited to do it?

At any rate, here’s examples of active listening, from most obvious to less.

Overtly Changing Facts

Most obvious: someone says something that changes the facts of what’s going on in a big way.

Suggestion is “school.”

You get a notion you might be a high school principal. You walk out, standing up straight with a sense of authority. You think you might be about to address a student who has misbehaved.

But before you really get any of this out, your scene partner flaps their arms like a fish, and says to you “great day for a swim, isn’t it?”

You drop the idea that you are a principal completely. You start flapping your arms. You are now a fish. You have always been a fish.

You say “Sure is.”

This is active listening. Your words did very little - they only confirmed the information. But internally you made a HUGE adjustment.

Accepting A Gift

Also tough: someone gifts you with a behavior you weren’t expecting.

You’re in a scene and you feel kindly towards the other character. You’re smiling. The two of you are friends in a coffee shop.

Then they say to you “You’ve always resented me, haven’t you?”

It throws you, because you weren’t feeling that way. But you accept it. You mix it in with the kindness you were feeling (because your choices count, too) and combine them into a feeling of guilt and honesty.

You drop your head. You rest your hands on the “table,” palms up. “What can I say? I’m not proud of it, but I do. I resent the hell out of you.”

Noticing Context

More subtle: you change your assumptions silently.

Let’s say you sit down for what you think is a job interview. The other person starts the scene with “Thanks for coming in, your resume looks terrific.”

You’re feeling like you’re a kid just out of college, applying for some kind of generic office job.

Then you notice the other person is talking to you in a very familiar way. “It goes without saying, everyone here would love to have you back.”

You take note of this. You’re not a kid. You’ve worked here before, and you screwed something up. Maybe a scandal? Maybe incompetence?

You are older than you thought. This is maybe more humiliating than exciting. This person you are interviewing with once betrayed you, perhaps?

Out loud, you say “Yeah, it’s weird to be here!”

Again, you have said little, but you’ve done a ton of work.

Addressing The Deeper Feelings

Someone has started a scene where the two of you are about to rob a bank. They are talking a LOT.

They’re laying out all these details about the robbery. Because it’s improv, they are stumbling and making a lot of mistakes, searching for details of what’s happening.

You try to sense: is the stumbling around “really” happening? Or is this just because it’s improvised and you should pretend the talking is going smoothly?

You say to them in a very casual, non-accusatory way: “You feeling okay?”

This throws them. They were so focused on getting their words right they didn’t really notice their own tone. They say, defensively, “Yeah. Why?”

And you go “I’m just saying: we don’t have to do this. Robbing a bank is scary. We could just… not do it.”

They are not ready for this interpretation of events and throw it back on you “So is this YOU trying to chicken out? YOU’RE scared, aren’t you?”

And that wasn’t what you were thinking. But you hear it and adjust. So you go “Okay, I am. Let’s not do this man! I’m freaked out!”

And —- as you are saying that —- you change yourself into someone who’s only going along with things because you’re his brother, and you’re trying to impress him.

Be The One Who Changes

Everyone wants to talk. Be the one who changes.

That’s active listening!

In my opinion! Let’s hear your thoughts on these terms in the comments, please.

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Burlington, VT in July

I’ll be in Burlington, Vermont the first week of July. I’m doing a workshop through Vermont Comedy Arts! Tuesday July 7. What better way to celebrate our nation’s 250th birthday than by practicing being a deliberate fool with yours truly?

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Plugs

• The World’s Greatest Improv School: The improv school I run with Jim Woods and Sarah Claspell. We’ve got classes online, in LA and even a few in NYC! You can join our mailing list if you want our weekly announcement of shows.

• World’s Greatest Improv (YouTube channel): My improv theater is beginning to stream shows. Subscribe to watch! It’s all free!

• How to Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - My improv book, available at Amazon. Kindle or print (also on my web site for more if you don’t want to buy from Amazon). It’s a hodge-podge of advice I wrote in 2016 about doing improv. If you’re short of funds and want a free PDF version just email me and I’ll send it over.