Accepting Offers
how to say yes and still be yourself
For this month’s paid post I’m doing a deep dive on “accepting offers.” This is another way to describe “saying yes” or “agreeing.” It looks easy but it’s not! To be really good at it, you need empathy, vulnerability, quick wit and — most elusive of all — the knowledge of your own feelings and opinions.
We’re really gonna get into the mechanics of it. Be ready for clumsy hypothetical examples!
Accepting Offers
The overall point of this piece: A good improviser tends to accept offers. But if the offer is an opinion, you can adjust / reject it.
How To Say Yes
An “offer” is any choice you make in an improv scene. Offers can be about: yourself, the world, the other people.
“I’m happy.”
“It’s raining.”
“You’re happy.”
Going with the offer is “saying yes.” Generally, you want to ACCEPT offers. Make whatever internal adjustments you need to, and then confirm.
“You LOOK happy.”
“Yeah, it’s really coming down.”
“I feel happy.”
This should not be surface. You should change yourself internally to make this true.
If They Want No, Give Them No
It‘s a little tricky when the offer is for you to be unhappy or disagreeable. But not THAT tricky. Just go with it.
“Would you quit being so upset with the waiter?”
“I hate that pretentious son of a gun!”
“What are you saying, that you want a divorce?”
“You’re darn RIGHT I do!”
That’s still “saying yes” or “accepting the offer.”
Tell Me I Am Wrong
Or sometimes the offer is “I am saying something crazy, please reject it.”
“So I think we should hunt our own food for Thanksgiving, wouldn’t that be great?”
“I absolutely do NOT think that’s a good idea.”
You’re giving the person what they want, and thus you are accepting the offer.
You Can Adjust Opinions
You can adjust offers that are opinions. Like, you don’t have to take them blindly. Turn them into something you can live with. This often just means changing the intensity.
“You’d love it if the boss died”
“Whoa, whoa, I don’t LIKE the guy, but I don’t want him dead.”
You Can REJECT Offers
You’re also allowed to straight up reject the offer. No, really, you are. You shouldn’t have to do this often, but there will be many times — even with people you’ve played with for a long time who you know well — when you reject an offer. Like once a show is not crazy.
Best form for rejecting an offer: say you’ve changed your mind,
“It’s raining, you’ve always said you love the rain!”
“Yes I’ve loved that in the past but today I’ve realized that I hate it!”
Good Reasons To Reject Offers
A reasonable person would not feel that way.
This “frames” the offer and the other person as unusual.
“It’s raining so hard and cold, isn’t that great?”
“No, Arthur, it’s NOT great! What’s WRONG with you?”
Another reason you can reject an opinion: Because you feel like it.
It’s really important that you feel in charge of your own character in an improv scene. You are a co-author. Go ahead and reject an opinion if you just don’t want to have that opinion.
“Don’t you love anchovies?”
“Not really. They’re gross.”
“We’re going to Disneyland! Isn’t that just so fun?”
“No. It’s a corporation and an evil one. I’d rather go to the sewers.”
You are making an offer right back: I don’t feel that way.
Maybe the opinion surprised you. Maybe the other person is getting really absurd too quickly. Maybe the opinion offends you! Maybe you had a different idea and you just haven’t had a chance to say it.
These are all good reason: reject the opinion.
You’re thinking “But we’re taught to agree, to say yes.”
To facts, yes, always.
To opinions: it’s more important that you feel like you are in charge of your character.
How To Say No
Here’s a good form way to say no.
Keep the facts. If they say it’s raining, it’s raining.
Say it like this: “I can see why you think that, but no.” This is a good training wheels way to say no.
“It’s raining, isn’t that great?”
“It sure is raining, and I think it stinks!” (kept the facts, changed the opinion)
“We’re going to Disneyland, isn’t that great?”
“I can see why people like Disneyland, but to me it’s a cesspool.” (a gentle no)
In this next example, Player 2 accepts all the facts, but replaces the opinions. This is fine!
Player 1: “You were late for dinner, that’s why I know you don’t love me!”
Player 2: “I was late, but I DO love you! I just hate being on time!”
Player 1: “If you love me, then why didn’t you get me anything nice for Valentine’s Day?”
Player 2: “I didn’t get you anything nice for Valentine’s Day because I am lazy and cheap, but I love you very much.”
It’s a bit slower than accepting the offer as given. It shouldn’t be your default mode. But it’s not bad.
In Conclusion
A good improviser tends to accept offers. But if the offer is an opinion, you can change it or reject it if it feels wrong.
Plugs, Fresh
Holy Shit Improv - Sunday January 28 7:30pm at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. With Fuck This Month. If you like profanity in your titles this is the show for you! See HSI’s instagram page @holyshitimprov for more details.
Plugs, Ongoing
Screw It, We’re Just Gonna Talk About Comics - Comic book podcast, hosted by my brother Kevin and I. We are continuing our examination of writer/artist Keith Giffen.
Clubhouse Fridays - WGIS’ weekly improv show. Fridays 7pm at The Clubhouse. Free!
The World’s Greatest Improv School: The improv school I run with Jim Woods and Sarah Claspell. We’ve got classes online, in LA and even a few in NYC!
How to Be The Greatest Improviser On Earth - My improv book, available at Amazon. Kindle or print. It’s a hodge-podge of advice I wrote in 2016 about doing improv. If you’re broke and want a free PDF version just email me and I’ll send it over.
I often told newer improvisers that it’s ok to say no (not accept an offer) but only if you are aware you are breaking the “rule”. so don’t say no just out of habit/fear but as a choice.